Friday, May 6, 2016

The Rockies score 13 runs in an inning last night ... but that wasn't the best part

Your Colorado Rockies may not turn out to be a good team this year by the end (we still have most of the season left to be played) but what they accomplished last night in beating the San Fransisco Giants at AT&T Park gave this writer more perverse pleasure than he can remember.

Oh the brutal irony

As a Colorado Rockies fan since their inception in 1993, outside of a handful of years I haven't had much to hang my hat on. The organization, after the initial honeymoon phase from 1993-1998, has stumbled through mistake after blunder after who knows what. The euphoric, almost blissful run to the World Series in 2007 was amazing in so many different ways (an end of season run that's likely never to be repeated in baseball). Their consistency during the 2009 season was also tremendous.

However since 2010 the Rockies have fallen flat on their faces in such an epic way that it's been hard to watch without rolling your eyes at least three or four times a game. Believe me, that is hard in games that sometimes run over 3 hours. Such is life as a Rockies fan. Every year in the Spring the optimism returns and by June I'm only watching games because there's nothing else on during the summer. Yet still I watch.

During this time the San Fransisco Giants have been the Rox chief antagonist. Relentlessly antagonistic in fact. A fanbase that has watched three World Series Championships in the last 6 seasons and has become unbearably condescending towards the Rockies and their fans whom they seem to believe are all bible thumpers (scan the comment section of any Rox vs Giants game on McCovey Chronicles). It's a strange surrealism to be viewed that way (to be fair the Rockies/Dick Monfort have brought this on themselves a bit with having "Faith Day" at Coors and courting the Christian inclined). Fans are fans though, and there's nothing you can do about that.

When it comes from the Giant's organization, that's another thing altogether.

For some reason the Giants have been leading the charge against Coors field. From their announcers, in particular Jon Miller and TV color guy Mike Krukow. All of whom have made snide remarks about the Rockies and Coors Field in particular. Miller went so far as to almost openly accuse the Rockies of cheating. Essentially saying the Rockies used non-humidor balls for their own gain when they needed an offensive boost, despite the fact that MLB has monitored the humidor since it's inception in 2002. It was bullshit and the Giants knew it.

This, then, cascaded into formerly good pitcher Tim Lincecum being caught on video saying "Fucking juiced balls" during a game at Coors Field in 2010. The hand wringing, the snide remarks, the implication that Coors Field is somehow the tool of the Devil (sometimes it certainly is .... for the Rockies) all have combined to have Rockies fans view the Giants organization and their fans as petty despite their undeniable success in the last half-decade. Poor winners.

Thus it was of monumental and perverse pleasure when the Rockies, through the help of a supernatural power (likely Satan, although this has yet to be proven), went to AT&T Park in San Fransisco and battered the shit out of the ball ... in one inning. The 5th inning to be exact. Scoring 13 runs and setting a franchise record of runs scored in one inning. IN San Fransisco where the Rockies usually have a hard time scoring one or two runs if they are lucky. In the previous 3 games the Rockies had scored only 6 runs total. Keep that in perspective.

Did I take pleasure in this? Fuck yeah I did. It wasn't the world series, or even a game of any real consequence considering we are still in May. Still, it was an O'Henry special, served up up cold like all the best dishes of comeuppance. Made all the more sweet by the slack jawed, stupefied looks upon the Giants faces ... not to mention the assembled throng at AT&T Park.

Does this mean anything in the long run? Nope ... just one game among 162. Does this mean the Rockies are suddenly on equal footing with the Giants? Absolutely not and the gap is still huge. Is it fun to watch a team that complains about Coors Field more than any other team in MLB getting spanked with the biggest paddles ever for an inning fun? You tell me! The answer is of course it was fun.

Please Rockies, can we have more games like this in San Fransisco? Thank you. Oh and Nolan Arenado, Trevor Story, Carlos Gonzalez and the rest of that lineup ... keep bashing that ball.

It's the little things folks. The little things make it all worthwhile

3 comments:

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  2. Claim X: The Rockies were cheating by controlling the humidor to weigh down balls for visiting teams to decrease the distances they would hit a ball and thus inhibit their chances of hitting home runs, while passing out lighter balls to the home team to increase the distances Rockies players would hit a ball and thus improve their chances of hitting home runs.

    Premise 1: Physics has shown that an increase in humidity from 30 to 50% can take off as much as 14 feet off a fly ball, which can make all the difference between a hit ball staying in or going out of a ball park. See: http://phys.org/news/2011-06-baseball-cheaters-laws-physics.html

    Premise 2: Before Lincecum got caught slamming on the juiced balls at Coors, the Rockies used to have this strange habit at their home park of either winning games or coming from behind by wracking up lots of home runs in later innings.

    Premise 3; After Lincecum's complaint finally made MLB take charge of the humidor from the Rockies org, there were no more late inning home run "heroics", no more comebacks, no more winning games late.

    Premise 4: The Rockies have been irrelevant ever since MLB took control of the humidor in 2010.

    Inference: If something consistently happened with X, and stopped happening with -X, then X was having an effect.

    Conclusion: The Rockies were indeed cheating by controlling the humidor to weigh down balls for visiting teams to decrease the distances they would hit a ball and thus inhibit their chances of hitting home runs, while passing out lighter balls to the home team to increase the distances Rockies players would hit a ball and thus improve their chances of hitting home runs.

    Q E fricking D.

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